It is currently 10:00pm in the beautiful City of Light and Danielle and I have been awake for 37 hours straight. Therefore, you're going to have to bear with me as I list a few things I've learned about France sicne we touched down this morning.
1. If you don't like French people, don't come to Paris, they're everywhere!
2. Every French woman is in some way gorgeous - and before you start squawking about how I'm on my honeymoon and my wife is the only woman I should ever look at, know this: this was said and elaborated upon by Danielle. Don't shoot the messenger.
3. The Eiffel Tower is ALWAYS far away - I don't care where you are, you're always far from it (sidenote: once you get to it - but remember you're always far away from it - but once you get to it, it's amazing. I don't care how touristy and cliche it is, the damn thing was impressive. Especially cuz it took so long to get there).
4. Rollerblading is HUGE here! Yeah, rollerblading, I know, I thought that went out with razor scooters too. Guess what, they have razor scooters here too! Yeah, I know! Everywhere! We almost lost a limb because some guy was doing figure skating moves on rollerblades!
5. The French love androgeny - we had a wonderful dinner at a cafe (Duck Confit is my new best friend - I'm thinking of somehow incorporating it into GrillFest next year). But the highlight for Danielle was her trip to the toillette. It was unixsex. Not like one toilet, lock the door unisex but rather, a few stalls next to one another labeled men and women. Go figure.
6. The French don't hate us Americans. They just don't care that we're in their country, spewing forth our bank accounts because they have more important things to worry about. I don't blame them, have you seen their city? This place is amazing!
7. Americans are obnoxious. That is why from here on out I'm going to start a little counter at the bottom of posts. I call it the "Stupid Tourists Ticker." Self explanatory. Oh, Danielle and I aren't immune from it either.
Stupid Tourists: 1 - Coming up the escalator at Charles de Gaulle Airport an American family of 8 stops short at the summit of this Matterhorn-esque escalator. The father doesn't move but rather comments on how the Arrival Board is in purple and he's never seen that in the State. This causes a chaos I've never before witnessed with pissed of french people yelling, flailing and generally in disarray - and as I've learned, the French are very rarely in disarray. Unless they mean to be in a disarray, and then its for fashion. Anyway, Stupid Tourists.
There's plenty more I've learned today, like our visit to Notre Dame, hearing a French mass there and lighting a prayer candle to St. Dennis, who I believe was the Patron Saint of Irked fathers; or perhaps the fresh crepe sucre and crepe nutella we had for lunch. Unfortunately I'm going to pass out and drool on this tiny little computer, thus rendering it useless and my pithy, urbane European observation nonexistent.
Until next time, adieu